The Joy of Building Community: A conversation with Ram and Jemi
Ram and Jemi, 2nd Congre
Ram and Jemi
Darrell: Hi, Ram. Hi, Jemi. Hi, good morning. Maybe we can start with you telling us a little bit more about yourself.
Ram: I'm Ram and this is my wife, Jemi. So we moved to Singapore about seven years ago and we've been coming to RHC for the last seven years. And currently we go to a CG in Ghim Moh, led by Malcolm and Sheila.
Darrell: Fantastic. And how has your last seven years been?
Ram: The last seven years have been great. So I think one of the reasons being RHC itself. So I think that's been a real joy in our lives in terms of being outside of family and friends and uprooting ourselves, coming into a new country and obviously finding relationships and deeper connections has been one of the best choices that we could hope for.
Darrell: So you moved countries, you came to Singapore, you basically had to find a new community. That can't be easy, right? Like, was it challenging? How did you do it?
Ram: Absolutely challenging. I think let alone just finding a new church and starting a new community on its own. But for us, obviously, coming to a newer country with no family or friends here, one of the key challenges was, like, especially in a country like Singapore, we are all striving for time on calendars and trying to optimize our time and going with efficiency. So for us, the biggest challenge was especially in terms of deepening relationships, intentional, not superficial, but deepening intentional relationships has been one of the challenges. But I think we've been gracious with when we first came and we had Justin, who was our integration point of contact, along with Charlyn, who integrated us pretty well and obviously, getting to us to a CG which is close by to us and also for yeah, uprooting ourselves and getting us plugged into various communities like inviting us to game nights and walks with them so I think that's been wonderful to actually get to know more people and get plugged into the community and having a wife who's extroverted also helps.
Darrell: That's wonderful to hear. And I'm sure it's just, I mean, it sounds like Charlyn put in a lot of effort, but you also took the courage to step up and put yourself out there and engage with the community, right? What was the benefit? I hope you've seen some benefit in your lives as a result of all that hard work.
Jemi: A lot of benefits I have to say. So like he said I'm an extrovert so the first six months was hard and by the sixth month I went and cried to him and I'm like I couldn't make friends here and I'm a chatty person and then he called out something which is very true. He asked me like what have you done to build a relationship and that kind of struck a chord and slowly I started investing in more people, meeting them and coffee. Then I started getting free cakes delivered. Food, that's the best in Singapore. Yeah, it's the best form of love, right? So apart from that, yeah, seven years is not easy. We also have ups and downs, being married, getting to a new country, figuring out relationships, figuring out family. Through all the challenges, we were able to share with them more vulnerably and we could hear how different people have navigated those challenges as well. And they were willing to walk along with us, which was really, really encouraging. Some we couldn't even share with our families because we were worried they will be worked up and
they'll be anxious, but we were very comfortable and these people checking up on us, different health struggles and all of that was like so encouraging and yeah. It sounds like you had to be both courageous and intentional in building these relationships, right? Oh, for sure. Any relationship is two-way, right? So you inverse and you see, but one thing we also realized is that you need to have a lot of grace. You need to pray for that. But not only from the other person's eyes, but also in your heart sometimes. Because we are all from different cultures and different walks of season. Sometimes something can start in a different way for the other person, but in those moments you really need grace, even in your own heart. Yeah.
Darrell: One of the things that I found, I remember Simon talking about, like this is sort of like a representation of what it will be like in heaven where, you know, different tribes and tongues and nations will come together in heaven and, you know, this is sort of like a shadow of what's to come. But it requires some grace and effort to do that, right? And how would you recommend, how would you encourage the congregation to build those relationships?
Ram: When we moved from India, one of the elders in our church told us, you should take about like a month to find the right church. And by the third month, you should start serving. And though we didn't follow it to the dot, like we took a couple of more months to actually start serving. So we actually started with serving in the hospitality team and then the integration team. So where we were able to actually find a lot of people outside of our CG circle and also to to do one-on-one Bible studies, like two brothers who did one-on-one Bible studies with me, which personally encouraged me to, one, grow in the faith, but also to share vulnerably and grow these deeper relationships. We don't talk that much every day, but then anything that I have, I could just go to them and then chat about that. That really picks up, and that encouraged me to also do one-on-one Bible studies outside of that. But also for Jemi, I think EWT and a lot of others, right?
Jemi: Yeah, there are so many avenues to get plugged in now compared to seven years ago, honestly. But it's you taking the initiative to join those groups and also invest in people to get to know them. One more thing I would add on is sometimes we might be here for a while or we might come with our own friends as well. So we might get very comfortable in our own circle. For them, I would really encourage to think about this because when you serve, it's not only you are blessing others, you'll be blessed much, much more. That's my biggest learning. Most of the times when we signed up, I'll be thinking, oh, I'll be great at this. I'm going to help others, but not really. I'll be helped like much more than I could imagine with spiritually, personally, in all forms.
Darrell: Thank you for that. I mean, it sounds like it's two sides, right? It's folks that are new trying to also be courageous to step up and open yourself up there. And for the rest of us, you know, really being outward looking, being inclusive, welcoming people into the fold, right? Not just sticking to our own cliques and really being intentional and trying to welcome people into our group. So last question, how can we pray for you?
Ram: I think we do have families who are not Christians. So again, when we are going back there, how could we be living our faith on our sleeves and then talking the gospel into them? But also for the journey ahead for us, like with all the uncertainties, to really be not anxious and dependent on God and trust that he would do all the right things and be still in him.
Darrell: Fantastic. Can we just take a minute to pray for Jemi and Ram right, let's pray.
Darrell: Lord, we thank you for bringing Jemi and Ram into our family and knitting them into our community. Father, we lift them up to you this morning. We ask, Lord, that you will use them mightily in your kingdom purpose. We pray for their families, Lord, the ones that don't know you, Lord. Pray that your gospel will grip their hearts and, Lord, they will turn to you and that you will save them, God. We pray that you continue to allow Jemi and Ram to fix their eyes on you and to trust on you in all their circumstances. Lord, we thank you for bringing Jemi and Ram into our family and knitting them into our community through the good times and bad, Lord. And we pray that you continue to bless them, Lord. Deepen your relationship with this wonderful couple. And Lord, we pray also that you will use them to bless others in the community as well. Father, as a church, Lord, we ask that we are not going to be a group of strangers just gathering on a Sunday. But Father, let us be a family that has deep and rich relationships that just goes beyond the superficial. And I just pray that we'll be able to encourage one another in each other's faith. Pray, Father, Lord, we'll be able to support one another in our struggles. And Lord, that we'll be able to labor alongside one another in your service and for your glory. This we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.